Tali’s World

  This has been an extremely hard year for me emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially.  I have been through so much and it seems like the world keeps piling it on me. I wish I knew it was going to stop.  I have tried to stay positive and keep my head up. I have kept fighting and moving along. I will do my best. Even though I can’t afford things, I have tried to help people in need. Even if it’s just a few coins.  Back in April I lost my job with a company I had been a part of for many many years. I took a job with a $150 paycut. I didn’t have as much stress. The type of job I was going to I knew I would enjoy. I wasn’t settling for it. For me that was a blessing. It meant going from a desk job to standing on my feet 8 hours of a day. That was a massive shock to my system.  At this time my moms health started to decline. Constant UTIs, pneumonia, shortness of breath, etc. many trips to the hospital and hospital stays. It just made it hard on me won...

 Walk into work and I hope that I am seen. Yet, so many of those I work are already spoken for. It’s hard to feel like I can be seen in a world that is fast paced like the job I am in. I am surrounded by so many good looking people. Several of them are so nice to chat with and work with. Yet, I just want to be seen.  The moment I feel like a conversation is going somewhere, it stops.  Stops cold and we don’t speak again. Even though I see them in a regular basis. Not even sure of what I did or what I said. I go back thinking if I just fade in the background is best the way to go.   I go home after a long day and attempt to fall asleep. Yet, my brain goes nonstop telling me that I am not worth it. I am not pretty enough. I am not thin enough. No matter how much I am myself it’s not good enough. My mom’s words still ring in my head after all of these years. “No man will ever want you.”  I just wonder if she was right.  When she shouted those words out of ange...