Me and Poly

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I am very monogamous. According to my friends I’m mono AF. I think I’m as mono as they come. I’m very committed to the person I am with and only that person. Something I am learning is even though poly isn’t for everyone. There is parts of me that appears to be poly.

Let me explain, what I mean by this. I am wanting to only fuck my chosen partner. However, if my kinks are not met I’d like to platonically play with someone who can meet those needs. However, I’d like my partner to be able to do the same. If I want to cuddle with someone then I should be able to do so platonically.

For me the sex part gets in the way. After talking with someone today, they said something that made sense. I am going to take what they said and really think about it. They really did make a valid point about being poly and sex.

Even though I dated about 5 people in my life since jr high school. I have had around 4 failed poly relationships. It really is a hit or a miss between the two. Who is to say I’m going to have a good mono relationship? I could have a good poly relationship. At the end of the day it’s something to think about.

Since 2019 I have thought about poly. I have thought about what poly might look like to me. I have realized in all the failed poly relationships I had, I was lied too. Well, I take that back. Two of them I didn’t get lied too.

2015 my ex asked me for an open marriage. I ended up my first taste in poly/open relationships/etc. I was told at the end of the day to do what I felt was right. At that time my ex didn’t like the fact I had a Dom who paid attention to me. By 2016 I released myself from this.

In the fall of 2016 I ended up with a poly family. My husband was aware of what was going on. When I came to release myself I found out a lot of lies were being told to all parties.

In 2017 I found a long distance relationship. They were poly. I learned more about myself and a little bit about poly. We ended up having differences and we split.

I had another poly relationship in 2017/2018. They were married. It turned out they didn’t have much time for me as their work schedule changed. Their life changed. I released myself. (We do still talk today)

The last time I dabbled in poly was in 2019. A lot of our local community knows the details of what happened. There was lies all around. What I think was jealously on my part and the other females part. I didn’t go into this willingly. It was just put on me. I ended up in it. In 12/2019 I was released. In 09/2019 he released the other girl.

My experiences to poly hasn’t ever ended well. I had my boyfriends cheat on me in jr high and high school. I have never had good experiences even then with guys.

Maybe someday I may try again. With someone who actually has values and integrity when it comes to poly. I know it would have to take the right person to teach me. I have more poly friends than I do monogamous ones. I mean that has to mean something right??

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