Overwhelmed

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I hate feeling overwhelmed. I really do.  When I get so overwhelmed the demons come in. They flood my head with so many things. The things that triggered, the insecurities, everything.  I don’t know how to stop them from flooding them. When people do certain things. My thoughts go to the bad. 

I think people are cheating on me, choosing me to be second, I’m going to be hurt, etc. i know a lot of this is in my head. How do you get it to stop after so many years of abuse. So many years of lies. How do you trust again?  

Then your brain wants to break a code it has with its self. Telling you all the reasons 2 years needs to go out the door. Reminds you how good those feelings are. Your brain makes you think you’re all alone. No one loves you.  

Everyone cheats on you, everyone lies, no one cares, everyone is going to hurt you, the thoughts keep coming in.  

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