I Want to Catch a Break

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 I sit there this evening with my world full of anxiety and stress. Since Christmas my car has broke down four times. It’s been the same issue and no one can seem to fix it. Here we are almost in the month of February and our car is still busted. As I look back of January 2022, all I have is stress. From being negative for covid and yet I swear I have it. To my car continuously breaking. My stuff I don’t want to talk about. 

In my body I want to kneel at someone’s feet. With my knees together and my head bowed. My palms faced down and waiting for someone. Someone to stand in front of me. Someone to kneel in front of me. Pick up my chin and call me a good girl. Remind me what it’s like to be a submissive. 

When I am submissive I don’t have to think. I can give my anxieties and my stress to my Dom. He can help me carry such a burden. I want to be someone’s his good girl and be told I’m doing everything right. 

All I feel right now is, me kneeling and my head down. In my head I see me kneeling in an empty room with sexy lingerie on. My knees together and my palms down. I’m waiting for someone. I don’t know who. The room is pitch black but, a light is only on me. I feel anxious and like I’m a disappointment to someone. I feel like I need to sit here and be quiet. I’m not allowed to talk or look the person in the eyes. 

I am listening to the darkness around me. Trying to hear anything. Hoping I hear footsteps approach me. Yet, I hear silence. I continue to sit on my knees breathing slowly and trying to remember why I am a good submissive. Try and remember that I got this. Yet, I’m alone in this loneliness. 

I wish someone would take alway the blackness. Take away the silence and the racing thoughts of anxiousness in my head. One day. One day someone will. I know it.

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