Tali’s World

Mental health and kink are becoming big right now. I am finding more and more people talking about it, unlike Bruno. We don’t talk about Bruno. (Sorry, it’s stuck in my head) I’m learning how a lot of us have dealt with some sort of trauma before we have gotten into kink. Some of us have had trauma in kink and use it to heal. At the end of the day, we all are healing from kink. I think it’s because of the release of the good hormones. Some of us hit supsace or Domspace. We get all floaty and have this natural high going. As you continue to read this, I wanted to share with you where kink has helped me get through some tough times in my life. Why it’s a hard time for me to leave this lifestyle. Maybe one day I will. Maybe, I’ll be that old grandma still in the lifestyle. That will be the day my grandkids getting into it. (Don’t have yet) When I started to become active in the scene it was in 2018. I had already released back in 2016 from being clean of self harm. I was trying to stay a

  I walked into this lifestyle not like most people. Yes, I read 50 shades and it intrigued me. I didn’t do anything with the information until my ex-husband asked me for an open marriage. This was July 2015. By September 2015 we started to discuss things like FetLife and other means to be in the kink community. We heard through some people about a local dungeon. The weekend of September 19th, 2015 we attended our first munch and our first dungeon. From there I fell in love with the community. I have written about my journey on here and other places. Lots of little wins along the way. How amazing this journey has been. What happened this weekend, was something I never thought would ever happen. The last time I was spanked as hard as I was, was in 2019. It’s been a minute since my body really endured that kind of pain. I took like a champ, so I think. I had four people around me. I knew how hard two of them hit already from previous experiences. The other two I had no idea. Knowing one

 Aftercare definition found on Google: the process of attending to one another after intense feelings of a physical or psychological nature relating to BDSM activities. Something I am learning is aftercare isn’t just for an intense scene. Over the weekend I hand a descent spanking. It was for my belated bday spankings. I have never needed aftercare before for those. So, no one who attended or participated thought any thing of it. I didn’t think about needed. After the effects started to kick in. Feelings I never felt before kicked in. I was beginning to wonder.  I was giving myself somewhat aftercare. Curling up with my blanket and stuffie.  I ate some food.  Nothing was making feel better. I didn’t understand why. Truthfully I didn’t understand why until the next day.  When I cried all the way home. The trip was an hour long. That aftercare may have been needed. No one is at fault. I blame no one. No one did anything wrong. I hope to whoever is reading this hears me on that.  What I a

 In 2018, I was raped by a local member in the kink lifestyle.  I remember sitting on the gravel in my friends driveway not feeling anything.  Feeling everything that just happened. I never thought what happened after that night would ever happen.  I was told by my friends that it was my fault. I was told that because I didn’t use my safe word, safe call, or safe text it was my fault. I consented to it all.  I was told because I came, I enjoyed it.  I was told so many things. Some of them I thought were my friends. One of them was someone I dated. They all made me feel like I deserved what happened to me.   A friend of mine alerted the community about who it was that raped me. The messages began to flood in.  From people all over the community who were leaders. I was learning my story was getting out there and I wasn’t really sharing it.  That’s not what hurt.  What hurt the most was how the community treated me. Especially the male community. I had a leader get all of my abusers infor

  subMerge podcast can be found at   https://open.spotify.com/show/68MnBFyd5MPlv1dMWW8IOP?si=8MYBF8WATXGyDkFsST-ksQ I find subMerge podcast to be an amazing podcast for kinky listeners. Better yet, if you are wanting to learn more about BDSM. subMerge shares information for new community members and great reminders for those who have been around for a bit.  Episode 1 talks about primals and some other odds and ends along the way. Abuse and BDSM and just general kink.  Episode 2 talks about communication, negotiations, and a reminder your dynamic isn’t my dynamic and that’s ok. Some amazing insight on a Mistress/slave dynamic.  I can’t wait for episode three next week. You can find subMerge on Spotify and Amazon Music. You can follow them on Instagram.