You Never Stop Learning

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 I walked into this lifestyle not like most people. Yes, I read 50 shades and it intrigued me. I didn’t do anything with the information until my ex-husband asked me for an open marriage. This was July 2015. By September 2015 we started to discuss things like FetLife and other means to be in the kink community. We heard through some people about a local dungeon. The weekend of September 19th, 2015 we attended our first munch and our first dungeon.

From there I fell in love with the community. I have written about my journey on here and other places. Lots of little wins along the way. How amazing this journey has been.

What happened this weekend, was something I never thought would ever happen. The last time I was spanked as hard as I was, was in 2019. It’s been a minute since my body really endured that kind of pain. I took like a champ, so I think.

I had four people around me. I knew how hard two of them hit already from previous experiences. The other two I had no idea. Knowing one of them pretty well, I had an idea. I start to count 1…2…3….4.. it varies from soft to hard and everything in between. By smack 20 my eyes began to water. This was very new to me. I was wanting to cry. Not because it hurt. Shit, I was loving this pain. Having a wonderful time as I continued to count to 40. When the spanking was done I wanted to cry, yet I was fine. I didn’t and still don’t understand it. They asked if I needed a moment. I didn’t think I did. In all honesty, I probably should have taken a moment on the table to breathe and regain my thoughts. I didn’t.

I jumped off the table put my undies back on. Once I stood up from putting them on and tried to walk the subspace started to hit. A feeling I love very much. After a bit I noticed that it wasn’t going away but it was increasing. I was tripping over my own feet. I realized I needed a safe place to sit down and regroup.

After my belated bday spankings I watched a scene play out  their energy was intense.  It was full of amazing energy and what I felt was primal. 

What I am discovering is that the scene that I was exposed too was intense. I was absorbing their energy. It was like I was getting a contact high of subspace. Best way to describe it. When I called someone to help think this through. They suggested that it’s probably the same feeling of someone heading to a big event. Since I never been to one, I don’t know.

Now, I’m anxious to see what is to come. Will these tears come all the time. It is just a one time thing? Who knows. It is going to be fun to figure this out. This new chapter in my kink life is going to be fun I think.

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