Patience

 When I was growing up my mom used to say “pray for patience you need it. I’d come back saying “I don’t want it and I’m not praying for it. “. I never prayed for it. Somehow, as I got older I developed it anyway. Not sure how or when.  I just know one day I got it.

I got married at 22 years old. I had a husband who acted more like a child than an adult. Trufully, in his 40’s he hasn’t changed, I have heard. He is still the same. Only difference is, we are divorced. 

I had a child at 21. Maybe that’s when patience started to form. I had this being I had to care for 24/7. A lot of the time with no help to speak of. I was on my own and so far from what I called home. 

When my daughter turned 6 years of age she was already in kindergarten. She was the oldest in her class. She swore she knew everything. I had prepared her well. She knew how to spell her first name, she knew her phone number, and a few other key things. Thanks to a teacher friend who gave us 10 goals to work on. My daughter still thought she knew it all. I walked in the school and said they needed volunteers. I raised my hand. I was tired of being home all day. 

From that moment on I volunteered. I volunteered in the classroom, class trips, even the book fairs. I was becoming well known in the school. I was getting a reputation. One, I didn’t know I was getting.  

After my daughter was moving up in the grades, I stayed in kindergarten to help. I helped out in the music department in the mornings with 3rd and 4th graders, I helped out other kindergarten teachers, her teacher, PE teachers, and continued to book fair. I was there some days from 730am til 7pm at night. I was volunteering. Even though I had the reputation of rarely saying no to helping out. I had one that people didn’t like. I ruffled feathers. 

I would lose my so called patience when my daughter became billed multiple times in 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grades. I ruffled feathers when I felt like something was out of line and unfair. I stood up for what I believed in and fought next to the teachers. I was the parent who wanted to work with the teacher to keep my child on track for good grades. Which annoyed some teachers. This got me a reputation. 

When my daughter was in middle school and then high school I backed off from her school and stayed in elementary. I worked with kids who now bullied me. The teachers would apologize to me and make the student as well. I blew it off. Reminded them, they are just small kids.  They looked at me and would tell me how well I handled it. 

My ex husband had a couple of guy friends. When they were goofing off, they’d chase each other in circles around me. I was never phased. 

My daughter would be weird, talk too much, just be her, I was never phased. Sometimes annoyed, nothing I couldn’t handle. I would tell people this when they said “she has something wrong with her”. Nah, she's just hyper. 

Little did I know my daughter would be diagnosed at the age of 18 with ADHD and autism. All her behaviors growing up never phased me. I could handle everything she threw at me. All the time I'd be reminded how I had the patience to deal with it. 

I now have a boss who is a lot to handle. Been working with him for two years. He is whiny, throws tantrums, suffers from mental illness, etc. people look at me say “how have you not left yet? You have a lot more patience than me.”

I never prayed to have patience. As a Christian woman I know I was created to have the patience when I needed it. It was to deal with a childlike husband, a child with special needs and didn’t know it, and a boss who is tough to handle. So many times as an adult I hear how much patience I do have. 

Last night as my daughter quietly came into my room I asked her what she was doing. She says oh nothing. Really child, nothing….  Her flashlight is on and she is searching for something. She then proceeds to ask me about my Fitbit. I told her and again asked what she was doing. She is like oh, I have a new app on my phone that can track Bluetooth things in the house. She walks out. *insert facepalm here* At that moment I realized how much patience I have for that child. She came back and said “hey mom you know your nightlight makes it look like your light is on right?”  Walk back out LOL. Some days this child does try it. She does this at 11pm. 

I wouldn’t change my life. My life has made me who I am today. I am thankful for it. Patience and all. Sometimes lack thereof