TW-I Saved Someone

-

Back in 2018 I was raped by someone in the community. My life turned upside down. Not only was I raped, I lost friends, I was told it was my fault, I was victim blamed, and even outed with my real identity. My life hasn’t been the same since that day in June. 


I attended a munch the next day. I told someone I would prior to what happened. I didn’t want people to think I was going to bail. I didn’t want people to think something was wrong. Then my attacker showed up at the same event as me. He tried to talk to me. Even tried to get me to smile. I did my best to ignore him. 


At some point of the night I wanted to leave. I was telling the leaders I was leaving. When they tried to hug me I flinched. They pulled me off to the side and asked what that was all about. I vaguely told them. I wasn’t going to out my attacker. Honestly, I don’t know why I wanted to keep it a secret. My friend finally told them who it was. 


After the talks began of what happened to me I ended up writing about it on FetLife. I talked about what happened to me in great detail. I was tired of telling my story. I knew this was a way to do it and get it out there for those who wanted to know. My attacker got wind of what I was doing and tried to shut me down. He threatened to harm me. 


What people don’t know is that I did go to the police. I went to the police after he started to threaten me. I was threatened multiple times. Basically when I mentioned the rape they said it was out of jurisdiction. The rape happened in another county than where I was at. When I told them about the threatening messages and showed them the messages. They didn’t do anything. It was over a social media platform. That was a huge reason they didn’t. They could only recommend me maybe getting an order of protection if I felt I needed it. 


I went to a local place in hopes they could help me with an emergency OOP. I was denied my OOP at that time. Despite all my evidence I had against this person. I wasn’t qualified for it. People who had worse things happen to them were even denied the emergency OOP.  I had to go back to court from September to December of 2018 and fight. In my writing of “Failed Justice System” I write about my journey. I won by default. It was because he refused to show up for various reasons. 


Here it is 2022 and I have felt pretty safe in this community. I haven’t had to worry about him over the last two years. I thought about him when I talked to my therapist about him. Since that day, I have never thought of him again. This past weekend, I was told where he was at. 


A good friend of mine messaged me while I was at an event. She asked me if I knew the person's full name. I did and I shared it with her. I told her I still had a pic if she needed it. She needed a pic. I passed it on. I asked for his new fet account. I didn’t have to think twice, that was him. I looked up his name and saw the same photos he has always posted. Without a doubt I know it was him. I am freaking out and shaking. Not knowing why I was being asked these questions. 


I found out later on her friend was on her way to meet him. When her friend sent her a pic of him my friend knew instantly who he was. Messaged me to confirm it was the same guy. Her friend then pulled over and went back home. That night I saved someone. I saved someone from being raped, sexually assaulted, or worse. I told my story back in 2018 and it saved someone’s life. 


When I was going through everything I went through in 2018 I was looking at my friends and saying “I can’t do this.  I can’t keep fighting the justice system”. I was telling myself if this could save one person. Then I did my job. By him being on the sexually offenders list and having an order of protection against him. He was now on the police radar. Even now that my OOP has expired. I know it’s been on his record. 


By talking about a very painful day in my life, saved a person. I’m trying to remind myself of that today. Reminding myself that I did good. Right now, I’m still shaking and still freaked out. At the end of the day we both are safe. That is something to be grateful for. 




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hard Year

-
  7 months ago, in August 2023, my world changed forever. My mom got rushed to the hospital. The words I never thought I’d hear come from the medical responders “she has a-fib.” Growing up around paramedics most of my life, I knew that wasn’t a good sign for my mom to be in. That was pretty much the last time she was home.  Four weeks in the hospital, followed by two weeks of rehab. Ok great she can be released. The last week in September she came home on a Saturday. By Monday she was rushed back to the hospital for a-fib again. Another two weeks in the hospital and off to rehab again. This time she was in a nursing home rehab. That is where she has stayed. She hasn’t come home. She continues to battle this.  I sat in the primary’s office this past Monday. She asked me how my mental health was doing. I checked in and said therapy was hard. I let it all go. The tears came flooding down. From a hard day at work and therapy.  I couldn’t contain it anymore.  As the tears streamed dow
Read more

9-1-1 and Dispatch

-
  I have learned if you have PTSD and not an actual emergency in my area, no one will be called out. Due to a recent event my daughter, who is 20 and autistic, called 911.  My daughter stated someone hit my car with their bike, the man was yelling at us, and I was in a panic attack.  Due to no injury, there was nothing dispatch could do.   Let’s back up a little bit to 2016. In 2016 I actually hit a pedestrian. I broke their femur and they had some bumps and bruises too. They survived thankfully. It took years before I could finally accept the fact that she was fine and I needed to let go of the guilt I was carrying around with me.  Fast forward back to May 14th. My daughter wasn’t on her phone. She always pay attention to our surroundings while I drive. She knows living on campus that people are stupid. This time was no different. She let me know there was a bike pulling out of our subdivision as I was pulling in. I swerved just a little bit and stopped. The bike then swerved into
Read more

Anxiety, PTSD, and Ticks Oh My!

-
  My fingers tapping in the air as if I am playing a piano. My mind is racing. I can see the sirens, the person on the ground. tap tap tapping in the air the flashback continues to when I hit someone. The rush of anxiety and PTSD rushes over me like a wave. An unstoppable wave crashing. Unable to stop the waves. tapping continues I wonder if this will ever stop, this tick I have developed.  The year was 2016.  When I hit a 75 year old lady named Bonnie (name changed for identification purposes). I remember the blaring of the sirens that came flooding down the streets. Her lying on the ground. Me yelling at people not to move her.  This day has been engraved in my head. This day is when I developed my first tick.  As the years progressed I learned how to control it. I learned what worked and what didn’t. I learned some meds helped.  Even some fidgets worked. I had this down. Occasionally, I’d have a moment of flashback and my tapping would start. It would look like I was playing the key
Read more