Autism

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I found out I was pregnant 20 years ago.  I never knew what life would bring into this world when I had my daughter.  I thought my daughter was like any other child growing up.  I never thought of her as anything different.  Except one day I had a mom come up to me and said “you need to get your child tested for autism.”  I looked at her and I thought she was crazy.  There was nothing wrong with my daughter.  She was perfect the way she was.  She was odd and a little hyper at times, ok very hyper at times.  It wasn’t something I didn’t have control over.  


I knew my daughter had trouble following basic lists.  She didn’t understand how to put herself in other people's shoes.  She really didn’t understand people's emotions.  No matter how hard I was trying to teach her these things, she never grasped these things.  I just thought that one day, when she is older, she will.  She will learn to take cues from people who are upset and understand what that feeling is like.  After 19 years of trying to teach this, she still has trouble with it.


A few years ago, she ended up being hospitalized for mental health.  We didn’t know where to go from there.  It wasn’t until she got out that we started to see more things.  She was stemming more.  We found her hyper-fixating on many things.  From arts and crafts, photography, to even taking care of plants.  She would go through stages of hyper-fixations.  


My daughter will be 20 years old this fall.  She still can’t tell you how she feels.  She sure can’t tell you how she feels.  She doesn’t understand the emotions that people portray.  She doesn’t understand why people get upset at certain times or are happy other times.  Sometimes, she can but a lot of the times she just follows the emotions of the room.  


Giving her a list of things to do is still impossible.  Giving her more than one thing at a time is just a disaster waiting to happen.  This is how my daughter works.  



When she was released from the hospital and started to see doctors they told us that they suspected she had autism.  Along with ADHD.  We have discovered trying to get her diagnosed fully has been a challenge since a lot of ADHD and autism in girls seem to be the same.


Autism can range from non-verbal to someone who is very verbal and like Sean Murphy from the Good Doctor.  Autism isn’t something that fits in one mold and people can put a label on it.  Autism is a large spectrum that fits many molds.  My daughter just happens to have the lack of emotions and hyper-fixation parts of autism.  Along with some other things.  


Someone with autism can be the best person in your life.  They can be the most loving in their own way.  I have learned through all of this is this.  People with autism love and live differently from the rest of us.  They are perfect the way they are and no need to try and change what is not broken. Remember, broken crayons still color, they just  color a little differently.

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