Tali’s World

  I got a call in December of 2004 that my aunt died. That was the first time grief really struck me. It really hit me hard. I was a mother of a 14 month old and still trying to figure out how to parent. I had a husband who refused to help me. Now, I am thrown this news. News that shook me to the core. I had just called her the day before and told her happy birthday. Here I was on the phone getting news she was no longer with us.  I was angry that she didn’t go to the doctors. I was angry I was in Florida and not back home in Illinois. I was at a loss for words. A heart that was breaking. My aunt was one of the few people who loved me unconditionally. I could talk to about anything. I just lost that in a blink of an eye.  When April of 2017 came around I never thought I’d lose my grandma. There I was again. Losing someone who loved me unconditionally. She loved me no matter what I did. She never seemed to have judged me. There I was still in Florida wanting to be back...

Two weeks ago or so I was asked to write. Write so I can get things out of my head so I don’t explode. Things were slowly coming to a head. I hold things in. I do my best not to. I try and talk things out and get things aired. It seems like the more I open my mouth the more things come out. The more frustrated I become. It seems like since my mom died in January I have become more angry. I watched her slowly kill herself. I watched her ignore the doctors. I told her for months and years that she just needed to listen to them. If she did, she’d be around longer. Instead, she continued to eat salty foods. Even though she had a heart attack and was in AFIB. She stopped walking because she hurt. Then was mad because she couldn’t walk anymore. Then was upset because she couldn’t breathe. Yet, she didn’t do anything to help it. I watched her body slowly give up. Last year she was in and out of the hospital every couple of weeks from September 2025 till December 2025 when she never left. She ...